Bearish News

AshleyMadison.com, a dating site catering to cheating spouses, has launched a remarkably offensive marketing campaign. The “discreet dating site”, whose slogan is Saving Marriages, One Affair at a Time, just announced their Cash for Chunkers program. Much like its government namesake, Chunkers is financially unsound, full of moral hazards, and likely to wreak havoc on American families.

The campaign offers a free trial to married men looking to trade in their “chunker” of a wife for a hot mistresses, a “sleeker model” as Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman explains in the press release:

The average person gains over 40 pounds in their first ten years of marriage which often has a crushing affect when it comes to the bedroom. And when sexual intimacy stalls in a marriage over 50% of people look elsewhere for a little jumpstart. Over four million have turned to AshleyMadison.com

Taking a page out of the Obama’s book, Ashley Madison is offering a cash incentive for those looking to temporarily trade in their Chunker for something a little sleeker. And according to Biderman, “With a new member joining every 15 seconds, we have a lot of models to choose from.

This line is the kicker though, “Let The Protests Begin“. They’d like all that free press, wouldn’t they? Am I playing into their viral-marketing ploy by writing this post? Maybe, but hold that thought a minute.

Putting aside the moral issues momentarily, think about the legions of hot young ladies supposedly trolling AM for affairs. Why the hell would these girls be on Ashley Madison? Everyone knows that a lady so inclined can get action just about anywhere: a bar, a bowling alley, at a wake. Especially the modelesque girls Biderman suggests that you trade your “Chunker” in for. So I decided to look at Ashley Madison’s demographics, specifically the male-female ratio. Screenshot from Alexa.com:

Apparently Ashleymadison.com is a sausage-fest. Alexa’s confidence in this matter is high. They’re an Amazon.com subsidiary, so I’ll assume the data is good. Quantcast.com shows a 71%/29% male-female split. If anything, that number even seems high. If a 70/30 split is right, you can bet the ladies of AM are not what you’d call great catches.

So while I did play into their viral-marketing ploy, I also highlighted some demographic issues they’d probably rather ignore. That makes this post Karma-neutral, maybe even slightly positive. And in case anyone was wondering, I heard about Cash for Chunkers on Howard Stern, not while trolling for extramarital action. I’m happily married, and yup, I’m a diehard Stern fan. Ashley Madison has been running ads on his show for years. They’ve always been in poor taste, some bad enough to get a chuckle. But this new campaign raises the bar. And indicates how desperate Sirius is for revenue.

Past AM classics include their shove-a-pencil-in-my-ear inspiring jingle, which is played around 5x/day during the Stern show. It’s one line, repeated ~15x, sung a capella by a chorus: “Ashley Madison, Find Your Lovers Here; Ashley Madison, Find Your Lovers Here; Ashley Madison — Find Your Lovers Heeeeeerreeeee“. Their faux testimonials are also cringe-worthy, like “My husband doesn’t even look at me anymore, let alone touch me”. Let’s just say it makes listening to Stern at work an awkward endeavor.

Update: Not seeing the error any more. Might have been on my side, not sure.

Anyone else getting weird spyware/virus warnings on SeekingAlpha.com? I got one yesterday, didn’t think much of it. Got another one today, then found this post (dated yesterday):

Seekingalpha — infected with spyware

At the time of publication I was not aware, but have since been informed, that the SeekingAlpha site is infected with spyware – if you are a Mac user or a PC user and your anti-virus/anti-spyware is updated, you will have no problems on the site, but if your virus protection is in question, you probably do not want to access this article – therefore, to protect the ill-protected, we have removed the link. If you still want to access the article, please visit seekingalpha.com.

So heads-up. If true, they should be able to get it resolved soon with the programming resources they have. Damn spyware-scammers (please please don’t hack me. not enough traffic to make it worth your while anyway).

Yesterday Harry Markopolos (the guy who handed Madoff to the SEC on a silver platter, but was shooed away) warned of an impending CDS disaster that will, in his words, make Madoff’s $50b ponzi scheme look “small-time”. He continued,

To put it in simple terms, it is like buying fire insurance policies from five different insurance companies on your neighbor’s house and then burning down the house

The CDS warning came during a speech at his SouthHampton church, and was reported in the NY Post. Can he really not get a bigger pulpit to speak from? He should be on 60 Minutes, FrontLine, bubblevision, Bloomberg talking about this. Give the man some respect. Better yet, ask him to head the SEC. Not likely, I know. Maybe mainstream outlets are waiting for the Post piece to get confirmed, or something. It was on Page Six of the NY Post… Will keep this post updated.

Quarterly home prices fall a record 15.6% YOY – (CNN) Despite the headline, the article manages to put a positive spin on some fugly numbers. They even trot out good ol’ Lawrence Yun, eternal optimist and Chief Economist at the National Association of Realtors, for some green shoot quotes:

With low interest rates, lower home prices and a first-time buyer tax credit, we’ve been seeing healthy increases in home sales, which are a hopeful sign for the economy

Mr. Yun’s statements remind me of Bernanke ’05, when he stated that a 25% price increase in two years was not a bubble, but “largely reflect strong economic fundamentals,” such as strong growth in jobs, incomes and the number of new households.” Read the Washington Post piece linked to above, important stuff. This is from the guy will largely decide our economic fate. Not a new theme, but it can’t be repeated too often. Voice your opinion to Congress.

Yes Virginia, There are no Reserve Requirements – Another disturbing article on the systematic erosion of bank reserve requirements (cushions they are supposed to hold).

Fed extends timeline of Treasury purchase program, no increase: (Rolfe Winkler, Reuters), “So far the Fed has purchased $253 billion worth of Treasuries, $109 billion worth of agency debt, and $721 billion of agency mortgage-backed securities.”

Scary Chart of the Day – Today’s chart is courtesy of EconomPic (again). What can I say? Jake’s doing good work over there. This one shows some not-so-flattering aspects of Treasury budget, stretching back to 1981:

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